Honesty is the best policy.

Is what you know to be your truth true? Is what people say about you the truth? Do you even care? Most people will say that they really could care less about what other people say about them. i would beg to differ. The adage that talk is cheap is just that, a cheap adage. It is inherent within all human nature to care about what other people think of you. Consider an infant child in this example. When you look at a baby and smile, it does one of three things - smiles back, cries or just stares at you with no emotion at all. Now, does it not pang at your heart when that child cries or looks back at you expressionless? Of course it does. You consider that there is something wrong with you. You wonder if it was something you did wrong to make the baby cry. You come up with a thousand different scenerios that your child could be thinking about you. Your only saving grace, really, is that it is a baby. S/he hasn't had a lot of practice interpreting the actions of others to formulate sound conclusions. But your contemporaries have.

Ask yourself a series of questions - use what emotion or thought comes to you first:
1. How do i really feel about myself? (Content, terrible, proud, happy, i don't know)
2. Would you change the life you live? What would you change? (Think of all things and list them)
3. Realizing that you have nothing but time, would you work harder for a career or family?
4. Do you always do what you love? (Even if it is considered wrong by society - drinking, partying all night, promiscuity, gambling, etc.)
5. Do you feel as if there is something else you were designed to do? (i.e. Be a pilot rather than a secretary, a BMX bike racer rather than a maintenance person, etc.)
6. If you believe that you were designed to be something else, what would it be and would you pursue that path regardless of what others would say, think and feel?
7. Lastly, were you absolutely honest in answering these questions?

Here are the answers i came up with:
1. i have overcome a lot of obstacles in my life. i am very proud of the person that i have evolved into though it is my desire to be more assured in my dealings with others.
2. The only thing that i would not change is having my children. They were entrusted to me for a reason and i take that purpose very seriously. Every other aspect of my life can be changed.
3. i would definitely work harder for family.
4. No, i don't always do what i love. There are things ingrained within me that i just do. Not that i particularly like or dislike them. i love to cook. i like to read. i like to blog. i love to give my children a bath at night and tuck them in. i love to travel.
5. Yes.
6. i believe that i was designed to do two things consecutively, be a writer and a housewife.
7. i was honest with all of my answers.

Notice that i didn't answer the second part of question 6. i can't honestly answer that at this point in my life. i would like to say that i would, but it wouldn't be an honest answer. When you are honest with yourself about yourself, no lie or misconception about you will stand. On its face, the very mistruth that people form about you will, in time, be shown as a falsity. Stand on your principles and everyone that does not stand with you will be cleared out. The good Lord protects babies and fools. Be a fool for yourself and you will have nothing to worry about.